Thanksgiving...Christmas and everything else!

Where do I begin...it's been a very long time since I've updated my blog.

I'm not sure how many people really keep up with my words but it has been a cool way to recap and relive what's been going on in my life.

Let's see, November was loaded with good times! We traveled to Mexico and stayed at Rancho Sordo Mudo (ranch for the deaf and mute) in the Guadeloupe Valley which was in between Tijuana and Ensenada.

Rancho Sordo Mudo is the only free Christian school for deaf and mute children in Mexico. Our group got the privilege to meet and spend a lot of time with the director, Luke Everett. Luke's father was obedient to God's calling many years ago which lead him from the United States into Mexico where he has ultimately enriched the lives of hundreds of deaf and mute children from all over Mexico.

Our group mainly did manual labor around the property and helped with every day tasks. Overall, it was a neat time of seeing God's hand prints in another country. To see children flourishing because they were given an identity and a language that they did not have prior to living at the ranch made my heart smile and left me in awe of God's goodness.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving, catching up with some family and good friends.
A few weeks before going home for Christmas break, Rich, our director had told us that our classmate Daniel, who had been kicked a month prior was going to come back. No student who has been kicked out of Joshua has ever been able to come back before. This was an amazing time for me to reflect on God's grace and His sovereignty. I was able to see a radical change in Daniel as he became part of our class again. I tend to take for granted the opportunity I have to recognize God in circumstances like this and to praise Him for who He is.

Christmas breaks started on December 13th but the night before we had an awesome Christmas party. Everybody dressed up really nicely for our pizza dinner and then we all quickly changed in to our ugly sweaters for our contest. Our pause families (5-6 students are "adopted" by a Hume family to spend time with throughout the year) arrived soon after for an annual gingerbread house making contest.
This is a picture of one of the three of my pause sisters and I.

I just got back from 2 1/2 weeks home for Christmas break. It was definitely a great time with family and friends. It was such a blessing to be able to celebrate my grandpa's 90th birthday on Christmas day!
They are two of the most important people in my life and sometimes forget how blessed I am to have people like them in my life. About my break, I can't say that God did super amazing things during my break but He definitely opened my eyes to a lot of things. I learned how easy it is to slip back into my "old" self and not apply the things I'm learning at Joshua at home. It just confirmed that Joshua is where I need to be.
I also realized that although knowledge is good, it can be a scary thing when I crave growth in knowing more but my spiritual life lacks in growth. My goal throughout the second half of Joshua is to take advantage of every opportunity I have to be involved and allow much growth to occur in my heart and in my life so that I will leave this place with a greater confidence in my relationship with Christ and not just head knowledge.

Please be praying for my second half of Joshua, as I know it will fly by. Pray that God continues to work in my heart and helps me in surrendering everything to Him at all times.
Love you all and thank you for being apart of my life!


--Lindsay


PS
Snow is DEFINITELY here and this is a picture from my bedroom window :)

So a lot has been happening in the last few weeks and it's so nice to have some down time today. I'd definitely say that the last few weeks have been the most tough so far. (I threw in some really random pictures from the last week that don't really go with anything I'm writing about, fyi) God has taught me so much in the midst of my frustration and trials. One thing that He has been showing me is that I am not in control. I know this in my head, but I continue to strive to fix my problems and not allow God to have control in the areas of my life that I think I can fix. Something that I am also learning is perseverance. I have been trying to tell myself that I've already learned a lot here and now I want to go home. (haha) This week I have been reading James 1 over and over and learning that it is impossible for me to develop faith if I don't persevere even when I don't want to and I must obey the word and not just listen or else my time spent in the word is spent in vain.

Last night our group got back from the Bay Area. We spent a week up there working with Habitat for Humanity in Oakland. I had no idea

what to expect and because I was not having a good weekend prior to our trip I didn't want to go. All I can say is that God is so faithful. I did not want to come home. It was definitely one of the most rewarding experiences so far. Habitat for Humanity builds communal neighborhoods for families in need. We were split up in groups and had a crew leader that was part of Americorps. These people we worked with were literally the most kind, humble, patient and loving people I have encountered in a long time. It absolutely blew my mind to see people who were not Christians acting in a way that puts so many believers to shame. I kept asking myself, "what keeps these people motivated to help others without the hope of Christ?" And I couldn't answer that question. I have hope and an overall responsibility as a Christian to have a servant's heart and I am lacking heavily in that area. The greatest lesson I learned from these people is the attitude of a servant. So many times throughout the week I caught myself with an attitude that was so awful and definitely not that of a servant. My prayer is that in everything I do I strive for servanthood and to be Christlike because I want to, not just because it is required of me.

Every morning at Joshua we have an hour of devos. We are required to spend 1 hour with God by ourselves. On our trip this week we didn't have that time and by the end of the week I realized how I didn't talk to God all week. I was so busy and preoccupied all week that I completely disregarded that time I needed with God. I know that God allowed that to happen to show me that I need to be in Joshua. I have been thinking lately that I've learned so much that if I left Joshua now I'd be equipped with all I need because I've learned so much but this week God proved me wrong, once again. Basically, He showed me how little I am in comparison to him and that I haven't come to the place where I crave that time with Him more than anything. I am doing it at Joshua because it is required of me. Coming back up the hill and getting back into routine made me miss that time with God and has shown me how much I need it.

If you are praying for me I ask that you pray for God to give me an untamable hunger for Him and His word. Also that I be mindful of my actions and thoughts and keep them all in line with that of a servant. Thanks to everyone who reads this and challenges me in the areas I need to be challenged. I am so blessed for wonderful, Godly men and women in my life. Love you all :)

So, it's Thursday night and the week has already flown by. It has definitely been an interesting week in discovering that there are actually going to be people up here at Joshua who teach, that I don't agree with! hehe. It's something I've never really dealt with or been challenged with in my life up to this point. I'm learning that instead of blocking those people out I need to learn what they are teaching me and be humble enough to seek God and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal truth to me through His word and not go by what I THINK is right. This issue has really shaken me to my core this week.
Also, I've been attending church up here, which is The Well Community Church's services being broad casted. It's been nice because it feels like a little piece of home with me. They have been teaching on Nehemiah and having a holy discontent. In my understanding, to have a holy discontent basically means to have an issue or circumstance weigh on your heart so heavily that all you can do is pursue and follow it however you are led by God to do so. I've been hearing it over and over from it being taught but I never could figure out what my holy discontent was. I've just been telling myself I don't have one. I feel like through all the challenges I've been faced with this week God has allowed a holy discontent to rise to the surface of my heart and has laid a persistent uneasiness within me for something certain. It's cool but at the same time really awkward and uncomfortable. I really need prayer that God reveals truth to me and that I am only guided by the Holy Spirit and not by the words of man. I also need prayer for discernment and being able to distinguish what is from God and what is not from Him.
The cool thing about being in Joshua and having the opportunity to learn from all kinds of teachers and speakers and knowing that none of them are the same. I know I am here to solely draw closer to God and gain a deeper understanding of Him and who I am in Him. I am grateful that Joshua is not a place where I am being "forced" to learn a certain theology or doctrine, but rather I am being exposed to opposite views and having to wrestle with what is being put in front of me and at the end of the day I have to chose to be obedient to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to show me what is true. I feel privileged because of this but it definitely makes things a lot more difficult. Thanks for everyone who is praying for me. Honestly, I can feel people praying for me. As weird as that sounds, I know that I have the positive attitude I have and the excitement I have only because of prayer. Love you all!

PS
I'm too lazy to upload pictures but if you go to http://www.joshuawilderness.org/ you can see some pictures! :)

Hey guys. I can't believe it's already October 1st. Time is seriously flying already and week 3 of Joshua is almost over. We just got back from Wildwood last night. We knew that we had a leadership trip planned for this week but nobody had any idea on the details. Monday morning we were woken up by the lights turning on in the room and duffle bags laying on the ground telling us we had 30 minutes to be packed and downstairs (It was 4:30am).
We hiked to Wildwood and once we got there we found out that we weren't allowed to wear makeup, have any clocks or electronics and all the mirrors in the bathroom were covered. It was an amazing time of getting to know everyone in the group grow as a family. Each day we were split up into 3 co-ed groups to do group initiatives together.
Tuesday night we were sent out into different parts of the woods all split up with our Bible's, flashlight, and black garbage bag (cause it was suppose to rain) and we didn't know the time or how long we were going to be out there. It ended up being almost 5 hours and it was such an amazing time with God. I learned so much about myself and realized that even with electronics, people, music, movies, tv...etc, there are always other things that distract me from spending time with God. I also realized that when ready, He's always there but I need to spend the time with Him because I want to, not because I have to.
Last night we all sat around a bonfire and Bob Phillips told us stories about Hume Lake. It was a great time. Afterwards we were all given these red bracelets that say "HUME HPI LAKE" and only people who go through Joshua or Wildwood get these red bracelets. HPI stands for, "Honesty, Purity, Integrity." We received these as a group in order to hold each other accountable for the things we said we would commit to. I think it's really neat to be in a community of people who all have one goal in mind but I am also hoping that when I come home I will be surrounded by people who will uphold me to these things as well. To everyone reading this, thank you so much for your prayers. I know that I wouldn't be doing this well up here if it weren't for people praying for me. I hope that as you see me on my weekends off and even during holidays, that you hold me accountable to all the commitments I've made while at Joshua. Love you all so much! :)

I've been working all weekend in the SS department (Support Services) and that means I cleaned toilets and vacuumed A LOT! Let's just say that cleaning a toilet that's not your own is humbling...to say the least. The initiation process included sitting inside a plastic bag and sucking all the air out with the edger of a vacuum as well as flushing my hand down a toilet (with a glove on of course, but still gross!) I have a whole new appreciation for janitors, maids, housekeepers and any job that fits this description...
Last night was such a cool night. Rachelle planned a “girls night” and she said to meet outside. I went out there and I was so tired and didn’t want to go. Once I got out there I saw 5 girls and a HUGE bowl of popcorn. We sat out and looked at the stars and all of us shared our hearts. Rachelle asked me to share what had happened the other night after someone had shared their testimony. I basically ended up sharing mine and I told everyone how God spoke to me that night. Later, we all prayed and asked God to show us or tell us something. Out loud, I prayed that He would show me my worth and my beauty because I didn’t feel it. I closed my eyes for a while and I didn’t think God would speak to me, honestly. I opened my eyes and looked at the stars. I said to myself, “wow those are soo beautiful.” I felt for a second that God was telling me that but then I said, “No, that doesn’t even make sense. The stars all look the same, there’s nothing special or unique about them.” Then I heard Him say, “Wow Lindsay, you have NO idea what the stars look like from my view. I know them by name and I made each one to shine differently but each is just as beautiful in their own way.” I was basically in awe. All I can say is God is so amazing and I am so glad I can say this more confidently than I have ever been able to before.

My first post on blogspot :) (Is it one word?)

I pray that the things displayed on my blog are used for the building up of others. To encourage, inspire, share and commune with anybody and everybody who's path it may cross. 

My life has been redirected the in the last 6 months and I am so excited for where I'm heading. I don't know exactly where that is, but that's okay! 

In September I will be heading off to Joshua, up at Hume Lake. I am very  hesitant to be removed from all the distractions here at home (no doubt I will miss them), but I am more excited about all that God has in store for me! It is so much more rewarding to be uncomfortable in the will of God than to be comfortable in the ways of the world. 

Today I experienced the provision, love, and power of Christ more than ever! I was planning on going to Fiji with Medical Ministries International several months ago. Because of a few different circumstances I was almost sure that it wasn't going to work out for me to go. After I heard I was accepted at Joshua I was okay with not going to Fiji. I figured the Lord knows best and financially it might be best for me not to go.

As I received flight information yesterday, I called my travel agent, got on the same flight as the group, used frequent flier miles and things were finalized in a matter of 20 minutes! I am sparing all the amazing details for the sake of time but GOD IS GREAT and my travel agent was blown away at the ease of it all! There is no explanation as to how everything has come about so smoothly except by the AMAZING grace and provision of God. I am so overwhelmed by his love for me. I am nothing on my own and today was a huge testament of my identity in Christ and the love he has for me. 

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. -Psalm 86:15