learning, learning, learning

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be servant of Christ." 
Galatians 1:10 

I'm seeing the value of obedience come full circle and man does it feel good. Obedience is never dependent upon circumstances. Obedience doesn't cater to the flesh. Obedience never seeks the approval of man. Obedience is entirely dependent upon the approval of God.
I have walked a crazy 6 months with God. I have grown in unimaginable ways and been broken only to be rebuilt the way God desired I be rebuilt. To say the least, it has been an incredibly tough yet rewarding season in my life.
I am beginning to see many things come full circle. Much of my journey I walked blindly, unaware of why God was asking certain things from me that did not make sense, that made me feel more vulnerable than ever before. Not that I have all the answers to my questions, but I see that much of it was laid before me in order that God could show me who I am.
The hardest part of obedience is having to continue walking around this earth knowing that people think I'm crazy. 6 months ago, I could not have walked with my head held high, even if I was sure God was pleased with me. Now, God has given me confidence to walk boldly according to his precepts. I'm experiencing the great value in seeking the approval of God over man. 
Satan is the stealer, killer and destroyer of things from God. He is a master at his craft and seeks to taint the word of God. I am so learning what it looks like to stand against that. Even when things seem "right" in the eyes of the church or a body of believers, God should always remain the final judge of all our philosophy. The powers that work against the will of God are real and alive. There is such value in determining the fine lines and praying against any spirit that is or may come against a godly perspective.
God is so faithful and always takes over to defend his children. When you obey the Spirit of God he restores your honor, he shields you from attack, he showers you with love, he affirms your steps, he leads you on a path of righteousness to something far greater than ever imaginable. Obedience is THE most important thing. 

God will ALWAYS restore what Satan steals.

Rest

Luke 8:22-25

Jesus Calms the Storm

 One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.

 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”
   He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.
   In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

I have noticed I sometimes live in a way where I treat Jesus as some sort of "Christian genie". I'm leading a live that revolves around me and my plans. I grab Jesus periodically and I pull him into my life so he can arrange it the way I think it needs to be arranged. 

Jesus is in the boat with his disciples. He is asleep when a "great storm" arises. Storm gets calmed it almost ends great till Jesus questions their faith. Why?

Because he became their "genie".

To me this passage says, leave the chaos. Go rest quietly with Jesus. (He's sleeping, that's how bothered he was by the storm, he was not unaware of it) Therefore making him center. I'm leaving what I have perceived life and who God should be. I am going to match my heart rate with his and literally nestle up with him, rather than grab Him, pull Him into my mess and say "fix all of this so my heart rate goes down."

What causes us to rest? Is it circumstances in life or is it Jesus Christ?

I know it's Jesus but how do I allow this intimacy?

It requires a recognition that my rest, my fulfillment, my peace in life is not contingent to my circumstances. Rest, fulfillment and peace is found in resting in the "hull of the boat" with Jesus, especially in the middle of a storm.

Even in that image of laying next to Jesus resting, how easy is it to "nudge" him in my anxiousness and wonder when we're done "resting". He's just saying, "rest". As soon as I attain this posture I am in the center with Jesus, no longer on the outside calling him out to my storm and chaos. When I'm resting I can hear his heartbeat.

Rest is only found in the hull of the boat.

Everything is contingent upon the the time I rest, listen and take instruction.

Passivity before him.

Rest. Rest. Rest in God's love. The only work you are required now to do is to give your most intense attention to His still, small voice.

 Madame Jeanne Guyon

I have no cool title

I love to write. Sometimes I find it to be a chore because my hand has a hard time keeping up with my mind. The best thing about writing is looking back and rereading. It really is a beautiful thing. I've recognized how I've grown and evolved through rereading old journals and writings. There isn't anything that would keep me from not continuing.

I began something profound tonight. I was hesitant in blogging about this and I'm not sure why but from the minimal traffic on here, I pray that one person could be inspired to do the same.

I regularly write in two journals. One is my "everyday" journal and the other is a journal about the future....I journal my goals and dreams along with where I feel God may be leading me. So the second is more "big picture" thoughts.

I bought a new journal tonight. The journal I bought tonight was for something very new and exciting. It's for my husband. I began writing to him tonight. I have no clue who he is, by the way. My best friend has been bugging me about it for awhile now, saying, "Lindsay start writing letters to your husband...SERIOUSLY." So after hearing those words yet again, I decided to do it.

It was so different writing to someone I don't know but writing to him in such closeness. I can't explain it but I loved it! You should try.

I sort want to venture off the journal thing for a sec and unfortunately I have no good transitional statement but I just wanted to say this:

I have talked to Christians who think it's weird to ask God who your spouse is because God could NEVER be so specific as to tell you exactly who he/she is when they walk into your life....right?
Instead we scope out some prospects, date around, get hurt, revaluate, try again.

That truly is one of the saddest thing to ever hear from a Christian. I'd venture to say most Christians would vocalize their belief that God is able to or has "opened" or "closed" doors in their life, confirmed a new career venture, guided them in relocating to a new home, answered a prayer, or maybe even done something miraculous in their life, but why is it so difficult to believe God could tell you who your spouse is? I mean, we're dealing with the God of the UNIVERSE...better yet, he's dealing with US yet we keep him squished and squared away inside a cozy box.

Anyways, enough of that. I just wanted to share this. I think everyone should ask God who their spouse is. I think everyone should pray relentlessly for their spouse.

Also, start writing to your spouse. Think about how awesome it would be to get a journal full of entries from your future spouse before they even knew you...that's pretty rad.